Lesson Learned

So this summer was supposed to be a good one for me as far as finances go. Based on what I was supposed to be doing for the family business I should have been making $500+ a week. Its a lot of work with long hours but I need the money to pay for school. However week by week my parents have been cutting back what I've been doing, complaining that I'll be going back to school soon so they need to find replacements. I'd also like to point out I haven't ever made anywhere near the promised amount. Max I earned was about $300 for a weekend which I quickly spent on car issues.

Am I still making a decent-ish amount? Yeah, $200-ish a week is ok. However, I got the smallest meal plan for next semester (only about 70 meals) thinking that I would have the money for buying my own food to cook. Between all sorts of random summer expenses that I assumed wouldn't be a problem because of my promised income, I don't even know how I'm going to eat when I go back. Before my parents even approached me for working with them, I was planning on getting two jobs. I backed out of that to help my family and get a better pay. Instead, my parents have taken away all the good farmers markets, cooking times, and supply runs from me to give to some little high school slut because "I'm leaving soon" (which mind you they've been saying since the markets started). My parents also say my car isn't big enough to bring everything to the bigger markets, and god forbid I take my mom's car that is. No, let's give the markets to the little slut who has a BMW Van from her daddy instead.

Am I being immature? Yeah, a little. But really? My own family is doing this to me then says they can't help me out with money for school after they've given it all away to other people. I understand needing to train her, but that literally takes a day for each job. I would have gladly trained her my last week too, but no. I have learned, however, that family means nothing when it comes to business. Apparently neither does skill. On more than one occasion they've said I could handle it better than her, but even that doesn't matter. What pisses me off the most is they didn't even tell me how much they were really going to cut back on my earnings till AFTER I spent a ton on concert tickets. You couldn't tell me before I spent all that money even though you knew I was buying them?

My lesson for today: When it comes to important needs such as financial stability, trust NO ONE. Not even family.

The Fair Delusion

Fairs have such a whimsical air about them. Cotton candy, rides, zeppoles, and small adorable shops. It is shown to be the most romantic budget date, especially on a first one. Blasphemy, that's what I say. Every bit that we're shown online, in books, cartoons, and movies is a lie. While the fair does contain quite a bit of fun, it is still not all its cracked up to be.

Early this month my boyfriend and I went to the New Jersey State Fair, fondly known as the Sussex County Fair by locals. Ever year I get super excited to go, thoughts of romantic rides and sharing fair snacks buzzing about my head. Reality: usually we fight on the way, I get sick off of fried foods, I get scared of rides, we both lose all our money on something stupid, and neither of us can win a single prize. If you didn't realize, it's a highly unromantic day. We still have fun, that is, until we leave and realize that we're broke and queasy. Of course the destruction derby is always TONS of fun, but that's about it. This year we decided that I was going to break my fear of heights and go on the Ferris wheel. I'd like to point out that I violently held onto the center pole the whole time and cried. The cart (or whatever it's called) swayed back and forth as if to taunt me. I easily recognized that 1. There were no seat belts 2. They really enjoyed stopping me at the very top and 3. If I fell there was no possible way I'd survive. Really. The reality is this: fairs are expensive and quite the ripoff unless you have money to blow. There was nothing romantic about being bloated from greasy fried foods (no matter how delicious they were) and nothing fun about spending more than $50 on food and $100 on games that there was no chance of winning at.

My conclusion: the fair isn't actually this whimsical place of romance and youthful joy. It's a lot of being ripped off and not quite as perfect as the media would like to make it seem. While they're not all bad, it's without a doubt wrapped in a whole lot of lies.

What's In a Name?

I'd like to start out by saying somehow in a matter of seconds I came up with a blog name that was vague enough that my ramblings and rants would not be limited, yet conveyed and summed up everything this blog is about. And perfect way to start it is, as it brings up my reasoning for said name. I have one word for you: Ego. Ego is what defines us as human beings. First and foremost we always attend to our ego. It's why such things as Facebook, Twitter, and yes ladies and gentlemen even Blogger are so popular. We believe that our lives are so important that people want to read what we update, post, and tweet. The reality is this: who really cares that you bought your cat a new collar or that you're off to do yard work. No one really. Yet we humor each other by commenting and liking in hopes that the favor will be returned, so our egos can be round and plump. I'm not saying that it applies to everything we say or that it's a bad thing at all. It's perfectly natural, and yes, even healthy. It's not our only quality as humans either. We can be very selfless at times and portray limitless love and compassion. The act of building up one's ego is often looked down upon in today's society, yet there's nothing wrong with passing a mirror and commenting how good you look. I fully encourage it.

Now that I've effectively babbled about egos, what does that have to do with my blog? Well if you actually took in anything you just read, it's rather obvious. This blog is about me, and as the name implies, my egocentric ramblings. Thoughts that have to do with me, but more likely than not thoughts that (I hope) many people will identify with. While I'm doing this mainly for therapeutic reasons, I also want to express my most inner thoughts and ramblings about life and what I believe are undeniable truths. See, it's all falling into place. I'm no hypocrite either, I don't honestly expect anyone to be genuinely interested in much, if any of what I have to say. More likely than not, anyone who reads this is either someone I know in real life or bored out of their mind. In the end, this blog is for me. Anyone who finds it as a source of entertainment is just a bonus (however a very welcomed one).